Mark, you say things that make me feel like I'm special, but then you turn around and tell me about -like- TWENTY other girls, so what am I supposed to think?

Baby, I'm just being honest. I'll never break your heart. If I tell you that you're the only girl in my life then you are, but as of now- I'm single.

Mark, you LOVE girls, you'll never be happy with just one.

"Jessica," I said while holding back the tear forming in my eye, "You don't want to be the only girl in my life, no one does. It's better this way, trust me. When I tell you that I love you and that I'll always love you, just believe me. I don't want to hurt you.

"You are SO complicated. I've known you forever and tried SO hard to understand you, but you just don't make sense.

She's right. I don't make any sense, and I never will unless she knows everything about me ... both sides of me. And that's not gonna happen. I need Jessica in my life regardless of what she knows. I need her. I don't want to think about this again, not now. It's bad enough that have to think about it for the rest of my life.

"Mark? What are you thinking about?"

"I was just thinking about what I'm gonna do tonight, about how much fun it's gonna be."

"Yeah right, you're just thinking about how many girls your gonna mack!"

"I guess." Everything I said to Jessica was in the emotionless tone of voice I've had to practice so often. The one that doesn"t let her know what I mean, even when I tell her the truth.

"Oh, fuck, look at that line. There is just no fuckin way... I hope we have some luck at the door."

"Oh, whatever Mark! You'll get us in for free in FIVE seconds. I've never seen you not get into a party. You're MARK."

"Well thanks for the vote of confidence, but ... I don't know. I just don't know. Tonight feels weird. You're sure you don't want to get dinner at Dan Tana's? ... No you wanna party, and that's what I love about you." (Jessica doesn't say anything, she only smiles and tilts her head back a little. I just read her mind -that happens all the time.)

We park the car under a street lamp that ominously flickers as if it about to go out, and it holds my attention for more than a moment. "Are you ready, Mark?" "Hang On, let me check..." Okay, I've got my cash, keys, car security, radio face, and caffinated peppermints. What am I forgetting? What am I doing that's different?

"MARK!! Lets go!!!"

Jessica was right about us getting into the party, it took five seconds flat. Cheryl was working the GL, and we go way back. She's the only other vampire I know. Back in the day we had more than our share of crazy times. I can even say that we went through some shit together. "Hey, thanks Cher-bear, I owe you one." I said with my eyelids halfway closed and a grin. She squinted her eyes said "No you don't, have fun. And be safe."

Safe?

As soon as we entered the Carousel I felt way better. This party was going off! Jessica and I went straight to the little room where Vitamin D was spinning. When I turned my head to look at Jessica, she went from looking bored to bustin out to the house kicker and back to looking bored in four beats - somehow she was completely warmed up. She stopped, looked back at me, and smiled. Damn, that girl loves House! She started to dance again, this time not stopping for anything.

"I'm gonna get something to drink..."

I don't know why God made me such a thirsty person, but this was the end of the line. I had to find a girl fast. It had been two weeks since my last party and I was feeling light headed from the lack of blood. Also - I've been trying to cut back.

The first stop, as always, was the Trance room. When I need to mack a girls neck this is THE place, but not tonight. None of the girls could keep my interest long enough for me to want to touch them, much the less have an intimate encounter. There were plenty of hotties in the House room, but I didn't want to pick up another girl in front of Jessica, even if it was just to drink her blood.

As I walked into the Jungle room I found what I was looking for. She was the one. Perfect in form and perfect in motion, there she was. I went to the bar and threw down a five spot. I picked up a bottle of water and four Jolly Ranchers and started to look for her again. Where was she? I started to look for her but was interrupted by a "Thanks!" as she plucked a pink lolli from my fingers. "What's your name?" "I'm Mark, but who are you?" "Silver." "Really? Is that your real name?" "Does it matter?" she said. And she walked away like a true player. She didn't even turn her head once to see if I was following her.

Oh yeah, she was the one all right. I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into her. I wanted to taste, to touch her, to smell her. But how? We came to the middle of the Jungle room where she held out her Jolly Rancher for me to take with my mouth. I stood still and watched her throw her head back a few times- just to catch the beat, and then she sprung out until the next drop. "Wow, I wish I could dance like that," I said to her as she was about to start dancing again. I knew how I was going to get into her head. I carefully watched her dance for one more measure, then I copied her style as closely as I could. Wow, this girl was made for me. Cheryl was the only other person I have ever met that I could dance with like this. "So Silver, now what?"

She didn't say a word. Instead she looked curiously into my eyes and put her hand on the bottle of water I was holding. She didn't take the bottle, she just rest her hand on it. Then she smiled and started to walk away again, but not like last time. This time she kept her eyes on me even as her body turned to head towards the Carousel's outdoor area. I knew she was a smoker, I could smell it, so I pulled out my pack of Kamel Reds and offered her one "Oh, Thank You," she said. Illuminated by the outside lights, she really was marvelous. "Hey Silver you're pretty hot, wanna go back inside and make out?" "What! Are you for real? I don't even know you!" "Well, I'll tell you everything. I'm a nice guy, I love Jungle, and I'm a Vampire. In fact, I'm only talking to you because I want to suck blood out of your neck. Is that OK?" "Maybe." And that was it. I knew I had her - or she had me, depending on how you want to look at it. I leaned over and gave her a tiny little kiss on her cheek, and then another on her bottom lip. What? I think I felt a spark! I've never felt anything like this. "Wanna go inside?" Of course she did. What can I say, girls go for the Junglist/Vampire mystique thing I have going. If you were to take that away, I'm not that interesting.

I held her hand by the tips of her fingers as we walked back to the upstairs Jungle room where CRS? was spinning. Despite the weird feelings I was having earlier, this was turning out to be a perfect night- the kind I live for. And, I have to admit that I was gonna get off on drinking Silver's blood, it made me happy to be a Vampire. I found the perfect spot for Silver, it was not only private but the sound there was great. As I wrapped my hands around her waist, I could feel the bass thumping in my chest and rattling the already excited butterflies in my stomach. I have never felt this excited about a girl before. She had me charmed, for sure. I bounced my head to the beat a few more times, took a final look at the room, and then looked only at Silver. She really truly was beautiful. I kissed her a few times and then moved to her neck. I could feel her body becoming warmer and more relaxed with each kiss. I pulled her towards me with one hand, and rubbed the back of her head with the other. I kissed her neck again as CRS? mixed in a Usual Suspects record, and then I bit into her. I this point I should have know that something was wrong, her blood was sweet as blood always is, but it was bitter at the same time. "Silver, did that hurt?" "You don't know what hurt is, but you will." "What are you talking about Silver?" "Your gonna die Mark, your gonna fuckin die. And it's gonna hurt." I wiped her blood from my teeth, and to my dismay it wasn't red- but silver instead. "Mark, I did this for your own good. After all, you can't go around drinking the blood of L.A. girls for ever." "But ... I need it." "And what makes you think that they don't?" Silver pushed me away, and disappeared, never looking back.

Where is Jessica? I have to find Jessica. I started to walk back towards the stairs but stumbled. I felt gross, like that one time when I railed a huge line of K. I was uncoordinated, disoriented, and scared, and my blood felt thick, too thick for my heart to pump. I knew I was gonna to die. But I didn't want to die here, not at a rave. I moved towards the stairs trying my best to seem normal. "Mark?" said Cheryl trying to make eye contact. What the hell happened to you? Did you do a bump? K is for cats, fool!"

Through my eyes everything was a twisted and horrifying version of it's normal self. Or was it? No, that wasn't the case at all. I saw everything for what it really was. Cheryl was a beautiful demon with glowing eyes, one a bright blue and the other a bloody red. Her nails were all very long, and her teeth were huge fangs. The music I knew so well was a confusing mess, it's tempo changing constantly, it's beat impossible to predict. I had to get out of here now. I looked at the stairs, and knew I couldn't possible make it down without falling, so I simply leaned forward and took a dive. "What the fuck!" "See, that's what killing the scene." I heard from standers by. I picked myself up and started to look for Jessica again. Where is she? I bounced of the people in the Trance room, none of whom were in the least bit disturbed with my condition. Two blond girls caught my attention, o was part bunny rabbit, the other part lion. I looked to my right, and there was Jessica, who looked the way she always did. "Jessica." I muttered "Baby, we need to get out of here, we need to go. We need to go now." "Why?" She was taking to some random guy, which made me feel even worse, and she didn't want to leave. He looked like he was part wolf. I looked away and straight into a mirror, where I saw myself. My right half looked like I always do, but my left half was a black fuzzy beast dripping in blood. "Hey, I have to go." Said Jessica to the random guy. "Mark, what the hell? Have you been doing bumps of K?" "Baby, please, just help me get back to the car." I put my arm on Jessica's shoulder and we left the Carousel. I would have never found that way out if it weren't for Jessica. My head felt like it was being crushed from every direction, the pressure in my ears felt like I was deep under water. My vision was more twisted now than before, and only the area directly in front of me changed, the outer was what I saw moments ago. I coughed again and felt blood gush into my mouth, it was coming out of my teeth. I swallowed as much as I could so Jessica wouldn't see it, but I think that some spilled out anyway. We got closer to the car and the street lamp no longer flickering, by now it had burned out. I reached into my pocket to find my keys, but they weren't there. I guess that Silver picked them out of my pocket, but I couldn't know for sure. "Mark. Mark! What's going on? Are you OK? Why aren't you saying anything?" "Jessica, I .. I'm gonna die." "Why? Mark! Mark! Say something! Mark!!" Jessica's tears dripped down onto my face as she held me. I would have pushed her away to keep my blood from getting on her if I had the strength, but I didn't.