At 2:55 a.m. I was sitting next to my roommate watching TV, and it seemed like Electric Daisy Carnival had never even happened.

The fact that EDC was so perfect made every moment impossible to enjoy, as I knew it would be snuffed out before even midnight. It was like meeting a girl you want to spend every remaining minute of your life with, but at the same time knowing that you can’t get attached because she’s moving in a week. Every little bit of happiness was kept in check by knowing it was going to come to an end too soon.

The daylight hours were spent getting into the vibe of EDC, which meant trying to keep cool and hydrated. This was the longest day of my life and the brightest sun I can remember. It’s light flooded everything so thoroughly that I was surprised to see shadows at all. It’s rays were strange and beautiful in this setting, but I appreciate the sun when it ends the night and resent it when it lags.

And lag it did. I was making every last effort to NOT use any energy at all, but
even as such the music occasionally took control. I obeyed until my mouth became dry, my shirt uncomfortably wet, and my body weak. It was hotter than the Fox Theater used to be and there was no running water, which meant that if you did not want to die you had to have money for bottled water or frozen lemonade. I laid motionless in the shade waiting for the sun to GO AWAY. As it disappeared, the freshly dark parts of EDC came to life while parts under the sun retained the contradiction of being a rave and not, the two most opposite things in the world.

With four hours left in this years EDC, the sun had finally set.

After waiting through all of June, the week of EDC, and through the daylight hours of EDC itself, EDC had finally begun. And it was almost over. When I saw Stacy, who I was close to around EDC last year, I felt the same emotions toward her that I felt toward EDC. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Stacy how much I cherished hearing her voice and being in her presence after all this time. When she started to talk I moved within a foot of her face as I did not want to miss a single word from her lips.

“Are you trying to see if my pupils are dilated?”

“No Stacy, I just want to hear what you have to say.”

Seeing Stacy made me realize how much I had missed her. At the same time I could not let go of myself and love her, or EDC, because I knew that they were going to be gone so soon.

I took a step back and thought about the raving years of my life. That one day the end will be in sight, and on that day I will no longer be able to love raving with all my heart either. What will I love when I am detached from the rave scene, I wonder? Will it be a girl or a new interest that takes it’s place in my heart, or will it’s place never be filled?

I don’t know for sure, and don’t have to as of just yet. Today, only hours after EDC, the wait for the next rave has already begun. I am more anxious than ever to party all night in spite of the world, to add hours to my life in exchange for worthless sleep, and to meet the sun on my terms- where it will help me find my way home, but otherwise not interfere.