Remembering what Nocturnal was like: 3 hours of sitting in the car, waiting in endless lines of traffic to get OUT of the venue… I decided that I wouldn't go straight to my car. Instead, I was going to walk around the parking lot till all the traffic cleared out. I was in the splendid, cracked-out company of my 3 retard friends. Ah… what a joy it is to be sober amongst the e-tards. So, my Etard Friends and I sat out in the parking lot… doing absolutely nothing. While they understood the point of this (all of their drugs voted unanimously that it would feel best to do nothing), I didn't quite get it.

Now is when I go on my quest. The point of the morning: To meet enough friends to make up for all that I missed when I was sitting behind the Jive Moto booth. Make sense? No, well it really didn't to me either. But it sounded like a good time.


Rules: The Token KandE Kid must walk around to every car whose driver looks messed up, and quiz them. Who are the candidates? Anyone who is passed out at their steering wheel, sucking on a pacifier, talking to themselves, staring at the grass, throwing up, etc. You get the point.

Outcome: Well, I think I really pissed a lot of people off with this one. Not only did I ask them if they were okay to drive, but proceeded to lecture them as well. Many didn't like this… and while they couldn't even LOOK at me while I was talking to them (their eyes busy searching for something in the back of their head), they were very adamant that they were able to drive. I was even ordered to go away a couple times when I became annoying. So basically… this game started out with good intentions, but it sucked.

Game 2: The "Find The E-Tard's Car" Game!!!

Rules: The Token KandE Kid must walk around with some cute, Asian e-tard named Yosho (yoshi? Yoyo? Yoho? Yoko Ono?)…and help him find his car.

"Well, what's it look like?"
"It's a four door Acura… green"

Outcome: Well, considering there were THOUSANDS of cars in this lot, and a good 25% of them looked like green 4-door Acura's… the outcome wasn't so good. I walked around with this guy for a good 45 mins. I was tired, and my legs hurt… yet, I was having a good time wandering aimlessly. I guess he works for…but anyways. Yosho's group was so messed up by the time they got to the party, that they don't even REMEMBER walking from the car to the party. Hence… the lost car. Well, I was absolutely no help… but I saw him about an hour later, and he said that it was behind a bus the whole time! Damn car needs to quit moving around like that!

Game 3: The "Get In A Random Person's Car" Game!

Rules: The Token KandE Kid must walk down the line of cars, proceeding to sit down in those cars that have no passenger. After seated, she must ride with them for an extended amount of time, and try to make friends without the passengers hitting her, or throwing her ass back out on the grass.

Outcome: This had to be my personal favorite game. I successfully rode in 4 different cars, and all without getting my ass kicked! The first was my favorite. A red, Nissan 240sx pulls up next to me. The driver looks tired (or fucked up) as hell, and the passenger is passed out in the back seat. So I walked right up, opened the door, and sat my cute KandE self right there in the front seat. Closing the door with a gigantic smile, I greeted my new chauffeur.

"Hey what's up? I'm Nicole! You guys have a good time?"

But it was all up-hill after that. :o) I rode with them for about 15 mins, and then proceeded to the next car in line.

My favorite was a parked BMW M3. I wrote all over the fogged up windows "I love you", and "I love your car"… because that is an awesome car, and I love BMW's. To my GREAT surprise, when I returned… it was filled with ASIAN MEN! This KandE kid's greatest fetish are Asians of the male gender… mm mmm mm. So I squeezed as much of myself as I could through the window… because this car was PACKED, and talked to the driver and his passenger for a while. The driver even offered me his keys for sexual favors! Hahaha... boy oh boy was it a good time.

I would definitely rate this game… TWO THUMBS UP. But don't try this at home… especially if home is in the Ghetto. Because really, I don't want you getting shot.

GAME 4: I was going to call Game 4 the "Save the overdosing, seizing patient's life" game…. But I don't know if he lived or not, so I can't call it that.

In the parking lot, a very unfortunate kid overdosed, and had a seizure for a good 5-6 mins. His friends were doing absolutely nothing, except trying to shake him out of it (which is the worst they could possibly do)… and I heard through the grapevine that they had drugs on them. So there's a good reason not to get the authorities over to their car. But screw that… this kid was having a massive seizure… legs and arms flopping and flailing uncontrollably as he lay sprawled on the ground. I sprinted across the huge parking lot until I came across a police cruiser. I told them what was happening and only a few mins later… ambulances and firetrucks were at the scene. Hoping to save my ass, I decided it was now time for me to leave and head to my car… so I wouldn't get killed by the drug dealers. I am so bright.

So once I made it to my car, it was about 11:30am. I changed pants… pulled some barbed wire off the axle of my wheel, and hopped in the RAVERMOBILE. My twin and I made it home alive… even with all those strange people on the road. Why were they driving with pacifiers in their mouths? Hehehehe.